Being honest, I don’t even want to write today. I want to give in to my introverted feelings and continue to write in my journal instead (I got a new pen so I obviously had to try it out). But I want to keep this up for every day so let me pop out of my shell for a minute.
I think it’s amazing how clear life can become when you’re honest with yourself about what you want and start pursuing those things. For one, it’s just nice to let yourself want what you want and feel whatever you feel without overthinking it. It’s also just amazing that reflecting, thinking, and asking for what you want means getting a little bit closer to getting it. I haven’t wanted anything profound, just closeness with people and working more on developing meaningful relationships, and it’s crazy how easy it was to get that once I knew that’s what I was after. I’m trying to do more reflecting and analyzing my thoughts and feelings, really trying to push into this growth thing, and I love it. I’ve been gaining more role-models too, and realizing how important it can be to tell others what you’re going through if it might even save one person from having to learn it on their own, so I’m making an effort. I’m actually excited for these twenty-something years and the growth I’ve yet to experience. I wonder what things will happen to lead me there this time.
As far as today goes, it was a kind of awful, kind of great. I got up, did yoga, and had breakfast which was all fine, but those six hours of classes really ruin me some days. Today was worse because I’m exhausted from Morocco and my body was hurting, but once class was over the rest of the day was good. I did some reading, bought a new pen and a mascara, then went to teach my host mom’s granddaughter. Today we did arts and crafts and then used them to ask and answer questions in English. I made these two. The first one, I realized, was terrifyingly ugly so I tried to do better the second time. I came downstairs with two pipe-cleaners twisted together and clipped into my hair. It was fabulous.The other favorite part of my day was getting to talk and hang out with my roommate. I couldn’t be more thankful for our talks and laughs. She really is incredible, and I’m SO glad I’ve made such a wonderful friend on this trip. We’re already planning our reunion once we get back to the states.
I’m happy here. I’m not ready to go, and I am. It’s not enough time, but it’s also just enough. I believe that it is exactly how much time I’m meant to have here, and my job is simply to live in each moment of it.